Your source for pointless, nobody-cares-but-us movie reviews. We grade movies on a 1-10 scale (1 = It sucked my soul out through my eyes and 10 = I'm buying the DVD so I can tuck it under my pillow at night and sing little songs to it.)
Monday, July 25, 2005
THE PACIFIER -- by naudy
It's bad. Very bad. You knew it was gonna be, but it's far worse than you think Disney can reasonably get away with. Sure it's a kids' movie, but does that mean it dosn't need continuity? Don't children deserve character development and rational motivations from their stories? Why should a shabby pastiche of cliches stand as acceptable early-childhood fare? I may not have been raised entirely on written fairy tales like an earlier generation, but I did have Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers. Sesame Stree may have encouraged short attention spans but it didn't insult my intelligence. Which is funny to say about a show I loved when I was 4 but it's still true.
THE PACIFIER is almost on par with MADAGASCAR which my nieces hated as well. I mean, they may be singing "I like to move it, move it, I like to .... MOVE IT" but that's all they took out of the theater because that's all that was there. Unlike THE INCREDIBLES, (which was on non-stop 18 hr play at my sister's house the first week the DVD came out) MADAGASCAR, SHARK TALE, and THE PACIFIER are souless, shallow, and pointless. Which is a shame, really, 'cause I wanted to like all of those movies. I mean, it's Vin Diesel! He's hot! He's bald! He's got a great voice! He wears lots of V-neck white T-shirts! What's better than that?!!
Not much as I'm concerned. Hopefully he'll soon be in a movie I can stand to not fast-forward through. He may not be nominated for an Oscar any time soon but he's too good to be thrown away on Made-For-Disney-Channel pulp.
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