Saturday, April 18, 2015


Hi!   Here's the list:

1 flying ambulance

1 flying red car

4 parachuting cars

2 camels (because without camels, the middle east just looks like Phoenix, AZ.)

3 tiny women wearing hijab for Michelle Rodriguez to beat up

1 woman who beats up Michelle Rodriguez (I liked her!)

1 silver crucifix

6 flashbacks

57 dead or injured soldiers

1 emotional phone call to a spouse

This thing

1 deliberate refusal to view the enemy and his motivations as being remarkably similar to the hero's

1 mail bomb

1 female computer genius who was perceived as intelligent until she went to the beach and people saw her in a bikini.  Then she couldn't do anything right ever again.

1 surprised face when someone pulled a gun

2 sledgehammers brandished (never actually used)

1 funeral

1 pregnant wife/sister

2 product placement ads for Corona Light beer

1 cheerful and surprisingly competent Kirt Russell who makes you feel good about America

1 plaster cast removed by flexing overlarge arm muscles (I laughed!)

1 irresponsible decision to stage a terrorist war in the middle of Los Angeles

A weird amount of black Chevy SUVs (do they favor Chevrolet in the Middle East?)

2 deliberate head-on car crashes

1 really scary drone equipped with missiles, machine guns, and a green swivel eye

4 bald dudes

Three with beards

4 combinations of bald dudes fighting each other

1 Tony Jaa

Please note Underarmour product placement
1 drag race

1 family scene by the beach

Infinite amounts of female objectification

"Help!  I don't have a head!"