- I am such a wuss that once I had nightmares for a week after seeing the TRAILER for LEPRECHAUN 2. Yup, you heard me, LEPRECHAUN 2, a film so bad it was ignored by the Razzies. Even now I have to watch the preview with the sound off.
- I am so terrified of the Ravers on FIREFLY that I refuse to watch episode 102 ever again.
- I am so bubblegum that when a date once pressured me into seeing SECRET WINDOW, I watched the entire film through the neckband of my sweater, which (and you might not know this) is in NO WAY sexy or cool. There was not a second date.
- I am such a baby that SHAUN OF THE DEAD gave me nightmares. However, they were funny nightmares so I rolled with it.
- However, SPIDER BABY freaked me out. FREAKED ME OUT! It was so bad I refused to walk by this house down the street which looked just like the house in the movie. The slightly crazy people who lived there with three chickens and duck didn't help with anything.
- I am such a scaredy cat that I have to fast forward through the angel episodes of Dr. Who. Those things are scary!!
- I am such a chicken that I wasn't allowed to see STAR WARS until I was 14 because it would have been too scary for me. And it was.
However, I did have to watch it on a Saturday with all the windows open in chunks of 25 minutes so for REAL people it's probably about as frightening as SIXTH SENSE. (Which, incidentally, I once watched on a screen hanging on the back of a box truck in the middle of a salt plain in the middle of the desert on a dark night. It was so scary I actually had to go run laps. In the dark. In the desert.) (I don't run.)
|"Yesh I'm wearing a peacock feather cape. What of it?"|
HIGHLANDER is scary for different reasons. Mainly because the people are ugly and it was obviously the foundation for every 80's hair band video made after it. Do you want exploding windows? Lightening from the sky? Guys keeping their heads on with safety pins? (yuck) (Incidentally I'm pretty sure that Clancy Brown, the villain of this film, is the original inspiration for Marilyn Manson.) Anyway, I can see how this film shaped culture after it but it was still yucky when it wasn't ridiculous. The ridiculous bits were Sean Connery being an Egyptian/Spaniard and training some dude named "Connor" in the ways of the Immortals while pretending to have an accent which fits the name Ramirez. And by "pretending to have an accent" I mean he just did whatever he always does and then took his peacock feather cape home with him. Also, stone towers fall apart spontaneously, no one knows what to do when a punk rocker walks into a cathedral, and everyone has hair so damaged it makes Janis Joplin's hair look like a Pantene commercial.
So, HIGHLANDER is far less scary than RUBBER. The awesome soundtrack by Queen helps (though I secretly kept hoping they would bust out with just one FLASH! AH-AAAAH!) In scary it's about on par with REAR WINDOW but without Grace Kelly. So for normal people that translates into "not very scary at all."
|I certainly haven't had enough|
October is almost over, I am happy to say. Soon it will be time to sit on a giant pile of Trick-or-Treat candy and watch all the Oscar-bait dramas... which are scary in an entirely different way! Happy Halloween!