Monday, September 06, 2010

Redbox droppings

I will pay a dollar to rent a movie from Redbox that i didn't want to see in the theaters and couldn't be bothered to look up on Netflix. Then I will promptly forget to return it and will end up paying far more than the movie is worth. For example, I paid $3.00 to see GI Joe. Tatum Channing (or whatever that boy's name is) wasn't nearly nekkid enough to justify the money. I have also noticed curious differences in the content of Redbox machines. Why is there a lot of porn at the McDonald's Redbox that overlooks the children's play area? And who decides that a particular 7-11 will carry Sundance and Indy-films? It seems to me there is as much logic involved as there is in my own Redbox choices, which is to say there isn't much logic at all.

Here is a list of the garbage I paid a whole dollar for:

LEAP YEAR: just unbelievably awful. If you want a movie about an American girl falling in love with an ill-suited Irish lad, see The Matchmaker with Janeane Garofalo. Waaay better.

DEAR JOHN: Don't do it. Really. Just don't.

PERCY JACKSON AND THE LIGHTNING THIEF: I personally believe that a film is made for kids/teenagers should not suck, much as an adult film should not suck. This mess was made for neither demographic and pleased no one. But Steve Coogan was pretty funny.

THE BOUNTY HUNTER: This movie rolled a zero on charm. Choppy incomprehensible plot, dialogue nobody could make work, and it stars Jennifer Aniston. Only good thing is Christine Baranski. I would much rather have watched a movie of her as an aging Atlantic City diva.

WARLORDS: Where I learned that even though a film has Jet Li in it, it doesn't guarantee I will like it.