for the Bulgarian crew and locations you see.
|Someone off screen just yelled "Bolen sam!"|
"R" is for blood, guts, and violence plenty
and don't forget naked slave girls w/ no panties.
|This is a nip-free blog.|
"4" is because I liked Conan's skirt,
though if you're wearing fur boots, you should wear a shirt.
|Congratulations! By looking at this photo you have seen the full range of Mr. Momoa's acting ability!|
Ron Perlman is in it, and that makes me glad.
He C-sectioned his wife and became Conan's dad.
|Ron's sword isn't actually on fire. However, he's so cool it might as well be.|
The kid who plays Conan is better by far
than Mr. Momoa. That kid is a star.
|Run Leo! Save your career!|
The bad guys are bad, you can tell by their hair,
and when posing for photos they make quite a pair.
|Oh, watch out. She's totally gonna blow sand in your eyes.|
She screams "CONAN!" a lot instead of just fainting.
|"I'm a monk w/ martial arts training who's far too polite to do anything about that whole sacrifice-the-pureblood-to-the-dark-gods-and-create-an-evil-empire thing yall have planned."|
I understand now why it isn't a hit.
The shaky-cam fights got silly real quick
and, ignoring the plot of this ridiculous flick,
I can safely say you should watch anything else
than this lazy CONAN THE BARBARIAN mess.
|"I hear that Winnie-the-Pooh movie is good. Let's go see that!"|