First of all, let me go off subject for a moment and suggest 36 Hour Vacations for everyone. I'v discovered that taking off one day in the middle of the week is just enough time to do all thing things you like to do when you're on vacation but not enough time for it to be detrimental to your health. My normal list of vacation pleasures includes staying up too late, eating too much, sleeping poorly in a strange uncomfortable bed, and steadfastly refusing to brush my hair. Fortunately my sister's house includes all of these delights and after 36 hours I return home only slightly exhausted, sick, and in dire need of a strong detangler.
Anyway, after a dinner of bacon-wrapped steak, green beans, and watching my niece Jamie eat only half of a baked potato with indolent vicissitude (she was sulking because she didn't get her own steak knife. In her few seven years of life she's managed to turn non-verbal whining into an art form) the family remembered that I had yet to see HITCH. [see 50 FIRST DATES] So we turned it on and I discovered that the name HITCH is the Readers Digest version of the name. In reality this movie is titled "ALEX HITCHENS: A LOVE POEM TO THE SENSITIVE NEW AGE METROSEXUAL MAN AS TOLD BY LIFETIME TELEVISION". (see "Bones") The alternate working title probably was MAN FOOLISHLY RUNNING FROM FATE or perhaps IMPROBABLE SPEECHES IN A CHARMING ENVIRONMENT. It dosn't really matter since it's a cute movie with cute people which made approximately $150 million. It's also not THOMAS AND THE MAGIC RAILROAD which mercifully I managed to avoid seeing. My point being, this is a movie my sister dosn't mind her kids seeing. My oldest neice even has perfected her Kevin James dance, from that supremely lame/cute moment made famous from the preview. Mr. James is pretty great. I liked him a lot. Will Smith reaffirms his place as This Generation's Bill Cosby and there's some decent music and pretty clothing.
So, with all this cuteness and charm, why am I likening it to a made-for-television Lifetime special? It could be that I very much doubt that the lead columnist of a gossip tabloid's editor boss cares about everyone's mental and emotional well being. It could be the way everything suddenly ended up happy for no reason at all. It could be all the speechmaking or the way everyone assumed men are pigs and women are unwilling unwitting victims of bad relationships. Or it could just have been that everyone had these huge goregous apartments in NYC which would have cost at least half a million and I'm bitterly jealous. Also, I had a problem with everyone getting upset about this coaching Hitch did. I personally have "coached" at least two friends during their courtship processes. Guys do a lot better if they've got someone around to back them up and help figure stuff out. Actually, everyone functions better with backup but guys somehow tend to avoid asking their buddies for help since it's not manly or whatever. What's interesting (and sad) is how believeable it is that some guys would be willing to pay for such coaching. It's also interesting that the whole movie is based on the premise that you can't just walk up to someone and say "I like you. Let's go out" because no one can deal with that kind of honesty.
Oh well. It's a cute movie anyway. Just ignore some of the sillier speeches, enjoy the sight of Mr. Smith sipping Benadryl out of the bottle with a straw, and look into finding the Speed Dating group in your area.
