So I watched the Hitchhiker's movie yesterday.
I'll admit, I arrived at the Century 16 theatre with some fairlyserious preconceptions about the movie I was about to watch. Themovie in question being the remake of the classic BBC mini seriesbased on Douglas Adams' acclaimed series of books "The Hitchhiker'sGuide to the Galaxy.. I had doubts that this new creation could matchthe casting depth of the original. I feared that it would not remainas true to the books as the BBC had. I was worried that it would betoo American. At least I was wrong on one of these accounts.
My fears about the casting depth were fortunately not realized. Evenmy fear about the casting of Mos Def as my all time favoriteHitchhiker character, Ford Prefect, was unneeded. He actually didwell with what the writers and directors gave him, which in monetaryterms would be the Argentinean economy. Similarly the characters ofArthur, Zaphoid, Trillian, and even Marvin were well cast. It's justthat they had nothing to work with which leads me to my first issuewith the movie.
The Script.
Simply put it sucked, sucked on toast....in the foothills with specialguest star George Lucas....and special musical guest star Tiny Tim.It was fine for the first 15 minutes when the movie seemed to befollowing the story I have grown to adore. It went wrong about minute16 when in a sudden move the train of continuity went screaming offthe track and onto a group of school children by wasting a full 1/4 ofthe movie neutering the character of Trillian. Quite possibly theonly character in the book that had her head screwed on straight. Themovie turned Trillian from a self assured but slightly eccentric butalways cool earth chick to a stereotypical 'help me I need to besaved' crap romance fodder for the romantic plotline that never shouldhave been added which in fact is the next issue.
Arthur is supposed to be the galaxy's punching bag.
It's his role in the series. The unlikely whiny anti-hero who getcrapped on by the universe on a semi regular basis. He is not a'happily lived ever after character and he does not get the girl.He's supposed to be whiny, and as he said in the book 'having troublewith his lifestyle'. Making him just part of a Trillian romance isjust silly and as with the changes to Trillian lessens his characterand likeability.
It was supposed to be a comedy right?I mean, aside from the 3 perhaps 4 times I laughed I did not find themovie funny. It was painful actually. Most of the best dialoguescenes and lines were cut in favor of the new writer/directors'inspired writing'. Next time that Karey Kirkpatrick decides that hecan in fact write better material he should remember his pervious opus'Honey We shrunk ourselves' and start taking anti depressants by thejarful least he decide to pull an early exit. Having to hear hisdribble interspersed with classic Adams writing made the movieimpossible to fully tune out because of my like for Adams writing.Just as I would be enjoying a scene Kirkpatrick's writing would comerushing in and deliver one of the many proverbial kicks to the balls Ireceived while watching this opus of crap.
It's as if the entire production cast has been studying at the feet ofthe current lord and master of 'How to horribly screw over a fan'George Lucas. While it may have not been possible to at least in mymind to eclipse the BBC series, it may have been possible to bring agreat story to a new audience without completely ripping outeverything that made Hitchhiker's so brilliant. The quirkyphilosophy, the great dialogue scenes, the hysterical characterinteraction, and so much more. All sacrificed to the alter ofAmerican viewing habits.
When will Hollywood realize that in no way shape or form should EVERattempt to copy or emulate British humor or movie/sitcom ideas? TheAmerican viewing audience has the wit and subtely of a Mack truckdriving through someone's bedroom. On the whole the American publicis stupid, oafish, and devoid of subtlety, not unlike the Jabba-esqbehemoth that decided to sit next to me in the virtually emptytheatre. Taking up a full 1/4 to 1/3 of my seat in addition to hisseat and some of his wife's this future Montel guest spent the entiremovie making inane comments and eating sunflower seeds. My kingdom fora Tazer was all I could think. However knowing my luck he would havejust collapsed onto me killing me instantly, although that may havebeen more preferable than seeing the Oz style bum rush that Adams'classic tale was given
Wow. You seem a little bitter.
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