ONE FOR THE MONEY -- 5

Your gun is HUGE

I read a lot of junk.  I always have.  When things go sideways the way I deal with it is to read a murder mystery.  They're good things, mysteries.  Everyone has problems which are far worse than mine AND everything gets solved at the end.   So, when I read a mystery, I am not in it for the florid prose, the in-depth character development, or for any other marker of literary merit.  I am reading it because I don't want to think about anything for a few hours.

I bring it up so you know that I have read One For The Money by Janet Evanovich.  And when I finished reading that book I didn't think about it again.  I just put it down and moved on.  Seeing this book made into a film, though, gave me two long, long hours to think about exactly the sort of trash I read.

That said, I liked the costuming.  I liked how the clothing made visible Stephanie Plum's (Catherine Heigle) slow transition from underwear merchant at Macy's

It's what all the girls are wearing while dumpster-diving this season

 to more-in-touch-with-the-neighborhood-than-the-cops investigator

Looking like a television journalist is the best way to get hookers to trust you

to improbably-tough-as-nails bounty hunter after just four days on the job.

This is what you wear when shooting John Leguizamo in the chest five times.  You know, like people do.

Did I mention the movie was shot in New Jersey?  Apparently, everyone knows everyone else in New Jersey so you can't talk about anyone anywhere without random strangers chiming in with more information which is critical to your investigation.

Other things of interest in this film are:

 - Debbie Reynolds is a "crazy grandma" type who shoots a turkey at the dinner table

Honestly, if you don't brine the turkey, shooting it is the only solution

 - Only unattractive men die

Though, in this movie, "unattractive" means everyone but the two men she's totally into

- It's normal to run someone over with a car when you are 17 years old.  That way, when you are twenty-seven and you hunt him down, steal his car, and handcuff him to a truck full of dead bodies, and collect $50,000 in bounty money on him, no one is surprised.

But make sure you act really nice and let him see you mostly naked first.  THEN get the money!

- It's also totally normal to learn how to pick locks, fire a gun well under pressure, and have your new friends answer phone calls while doing this --

He's a bounty hunter, not a male prostitute.  I know, easy mistake..

So, it's escapist trash which presents as possible the improbable option of a woman's ability to sucessfully transition from psycho girlfriend to psycho bounty hunter.  Which, now that I think about it, isn't much of a stretch.  I mean the stalking/investigating skill sets are the same.  Bounty hunting just has the added benefit of providing paychecks and lets you do exciting things like hauling naked old men into jail.

Best career move I ever made!