SECONDHAND LIONS -- by naudy (6)

It's nice to know that, as an actor, there's a certain time of life when no matter how old you are or how bad the movie is, your talent isn't questioned. Michael Caine is one of these grand old men. So is Robert Duval. On the otherhand, it's nice to know that we havn't had to see Haley Joel Osmont for the past three years because this movie actually was that bad. Haley was cute in SIXTH SENSE and he's not growing up to be as ugly as Macauly Culkin but he's definately no Dakota Fanning.

Anyway, all that aside, the real fault of this film is in the directing. The director/writer is Tim McCanlies, who adapted the book The Iron Giant for the criminally-undervalued film. (THE IRON GIANT is brillant! See it!) Often people try to put too much junk into one moment (see: Jim Carrey), one story (see: Robert Jordan), one film (see: SECONDHAND LIONS), one sentance (see: this one!). It reminds me of a kid I used to go to school with. Gabriel was a jazz pianist and could make up new melodies and riffs with almost every breath. We all thought it was cool. (I was particullarly jealous since I couldn't make up even ONE melody that didn't sound like something else. I still remember my sister telling me I couldn't use my - I thought - original melody on a class assignment 'cause it "sounds like the theme song to Tarzan.") My theory teacher, a jazz pianist himself, didn't think it was cool. He always told Gabe that is was messy, that there was too much junk in his music, and throwing ideas at people wasn't music, it was just throwing ideas. The real music comes from one idea, maybe two, and then building everything from there.

The same principle holds true with this movie. There are four or five themes, too many "cry now 'cause this is touching" moments, some ploddish humor, and way too many loose ends by the end of the movie. The real charm comes from Michael Caine and Robert Duval who are such professionals that all the moments the director didn't direct are full of the brilliance these men always bring to a performance.

So, what's the final verdict on the movie that wanted to be BIG FISH? Writers should maybe not direct, don't trust a child actor to always be good, and old Lions (of the Stage) just get better with age.