DHOOM 3 - (Greatest Movie EVER!)

So, I forgot my phone at home today.  This is pretty much like loosing your left hand - upsetting but survivable.   Then I found out that there is a place called Roos-N-More which is only two hours away where you can hang out with otters!

OTTERS!  HOLDING HANDS!!

Then I found out that they are open tomorrow....aaaaand I can't go because I promised to play the piano tomorrow at 9am.

When I got home after work and got my 22 text messages and 5 missed phone calls, I learned that the party I had hoped to go to was cancelled.  What was worse was my friend Christopher had 2 tickets to the Nutcracker waiting in Will Call for me and I MISSED IT!

I felt like this.
(I know, I use a lot of gifs these days.)

Anyway, the only possible solution was to go see DHOOM 3, the third in a series of films I did not see the first two of.  I knew I was in the right place when the preview before the movie was this epic:

No, seriously, you should watch this thing.  All of it

Then, I knew I was in for an extraordinary film when the opening credits of DHOOM 3 looked like this:

Seriously.

I'm pretty sure you, the reader, won't go see this movie (even though you totally should!) so I am going to tell you about it.   First of all, there's this cop who can punch through brick walls.  He has a sidekick with terrible fashion sense and a fetish for motorcycles.  Mr. Cop is hateful to his friend and to everyone else he comes in contact with.

This is what "good" police work looks like.

Just let me repeat that they both like motorcycles a LOT and spend most of the movie riding them.  Mr Cop is the literal worst.  He thinks it's cool to push his sunglasses up by shoving the bridge of them with a finger and you are treated to slow-mo views of this.  And, most unforgiveably, he has ugly hair.  It hurt my eyes.

Here he is in the most blatantly green-screened shot in the whole film.  I actually giggled.

Then, there's Mr. Thief in Chicago who has astonishingly fabulous fashion sense and sticky-out ears.

"Hello.  ALL of my clothing is amazing and perfectly tailored."

 We love him because he is Circ and I live in Vegas.   Circ = Good.

I mean, how could it not be?

And of course there's a girl because without her, no one would sing the theme song:

It's not a bad song.

And then a lot of stuff happens which you should totally watch.

DHOOM 3's three hours and one fifteen-minute intermission was enough to convince me that this is my new favorite movie.  Here is a song I dedicate to this film: