Movie Review: UMRAO JAAN -- by naudy

I can't get enough of these things. They're just like novellas. When they start I'm nonplussed by the poor production values, bad acting, and I have no idea what's going on. By the time they end I'm weepy 'cause the melodrama has gotten to me and it just so sad!

Basically, it's like everything on the Lifetime channel except there's good music.

UMRAO JAAN is the story of a girl who gets abducted from her home at 14, raped, and sold to a bordello. Seeing as how this is before the British invasion and she's living in Muslim-country, she's now permanently a hooker. And, after she becomes a dancer/singer/songwriter/philosopher/poet , she's still a prostitute so nothing good will ever happen to her. Ever. She runs away several times only to be dragged back. She escapes with a bandit who gets shot by the po-po and dies, leaving her with the cops. She gets dumped by her lover for the maid. By the end she gets to go home and hug her mother for a minute or two but then her little brother kicks her out of the house 'cause she's a filthy filthy whore who will bring shame on her family for being abducted when she was 14. 'Cause, as the crabby grandma who couldn't be bothered to wear a skirt said in the beginning of the movie "It's better not to let even the shadow of a whore touch you."

This movie didn't do well in India. They say-- "UMRAO JAAN did not create ripples among most critics when it was made because the storyline revolving around a singer/dancer who sells her body was old hat for most Hindi/Urdu filmgoers."

So that sucks. However, there are some really great songs performed by Rekha, an actress who is the living embodiment of old paintings from northern India. Which is to say she's pretty in a voluptious Muppett sort of way. She also dosn't overact as much as she could, which is nice but dosn't really matter 'cause I'm totally invested in the character by the time she starts to chew the scenery.

There's a remake of this film in production right now which will star Aishwarya Rai. I'll totally see it, even though I expect the story will continue to upset me. I just can't help being so American. I know the PRETTY WOMAN concept is impractical and impossible but I always keep hoping that no matter what, there's some redemption possible, particullarly if you can sing and look that cool in 20 pounds of gold jewelery.