Your source for pointless, nobody-cares-but-us movie reviews. We grade movies on a 1-10 scale (1 = It sucked my soul out through my eyes and 10 = I'm buying the DVD so I can tuck it under my pillow at night and sing little songs to it.)
Friday, September 30, 2005
WALKING TALL -- by naudy (it gets a 3)
This movie is intended to appeal to The Rock's core audience... yer average WWE fan. It contains all the elements one would expect -- a small town crippled by the loss of a lumber mill, morally justified violence, big trucks, a hot stripper, and a kid to save. The only thing which dosn't quite fit the formula is the fact that The Rock has a delicious spray-on tan to make him look like the half Africian-American ex-military man he plays. So, other than the pleasant surprise of a story about a not-white good guy, it's exactly as bad as you would expect it to be. There is some cool fighting, and Johnny Knoxville manages to be amusing, but after that it's all illogical and silly. As much as I love The Rock, he's an awfully self-aware actor. He walks around visibly thinking "I Am Not The Rock" to himself and the viewer can see it. Were I to bother to go back and review this movie, I'm fairly certain that there are moments when he looks directly at the camera and just barely stops himself from doing the eyebrow thing.
I know you're not surprised.