BOYS BEFORE FLOWERS VOL.1 -- (∞)

"The Witch" a.k.a. "Mom"

Korean soap operas.  What can I compare them to?  They are like regular soaps except everyone is in high school.  They are novellas with better fashion. They are Twilight without the blood, Glee without the pregnancy, and they are as addictive as crack cocaine.

I just watched 27+ hours of a single series, BOYS BEFORE FLOWERS VOL.1, and I watched it to the very bitter end because I wanted to find out what would happen.  And ya know what? Nothing happened.  Even in the very last moment, they didn't resolve the series.  This makes me crazy but I also makes sense on a psychological level.  Let me explain.

So, there's this girl named Geum Jan Di.  She's not pretty, smart, rich, cultured, and the only thing she has going for her is her work ethic (at one point in the series she attends school full time while holding down four part-time jobs), her generous nature, and how cute she looks in a school uniform.   NATURALLY the four richest boys in the COUNTRY of South Korea are all over her and two in particular become her love interests.  These two young men are sort of the Korean versions of the Edward vs Jacob debate.  I'll let Stanford professor Robert Sapolsky explain why this debate is universal and eternal in civilized society

So, the concept begins at the 1:18:55 point but the real nut of the subject comes around 1:22:00.  Basically, does a woman want a big dumb muscled guy who contributes nothing but good sperm represented by the ultra-rich Goo Jun Pyo who likes to yell, drag girls around, and is too dumb to not mix his metaphors,

Yes, he's the "manly" one.  Just go with it

 or do you women want a man who looks like a woman

He dresses like Russel Brand but with less skin and more scarves

represented by Yoon Ji Hoo who is quiet and does nothing but take care of Jan Di and her family, friends, problems, etc.  (Did I mention that he looks exactly like a girl?  Did I mention that? I should also probably mention that I like this guy the best because he's not dumb.)

So, the real answer to this question in human women is "it depends."  Sometimes women like big stupid men and sometimes they like small smart men and that "sometimes" has been shown in research to be determined mainly by hormone levels.   Which means that this series can never actually be resolved because Jan Di will flip-flop in her preference on a bi-monthly basis.  Which sucks.

Jan Di collapsed after a severe egging & flouring. Jun Pyo is actually on his way to deep fry her

In the mean time a lot of unnecessary drama happens.  Jan Di gets beat up, kidnapped, threatened, injured, and (my favorite) almost dies in a "blizzard" while wandering on a bunny hill in galoshes.  She also, because this is escapist fantasy for lower-middle class Korean girls, travels to Macau, goes on tropical vacations, rides horses, gets new wardrobes purchased by rich and generous men, and eats a vast amount of expensive food.

Throughout all of it she is teaching these rich boys the value of traditional Korean culture and, after administering a few well placed roundhouse kicks, the boys love her for it.

So, did I learn something? Yes.  Do I recommend them? No, primarily because this series will never ever end and it makes me crazy.  Crazy enough to watch 27 hours of this program and crazy enough to blog about it.

Korean soaps-- Just Say No

THE EAGLE/PULP FICTION/CREATION

So, I took a break from my steady, Netflix-supported (notice I didn't say Qwikster) diet of Doctor Who and kung fu movies to see a couple of films.  Here's the breakdown:

CREATION - (7)
I bawled my eyes out.  I felt so sorry for the man.  Making himself sick, psychotic episodes, being British, giving up on your life's work, and forgetting to talk to your wife I understand but not allowing God to be rational and loving and bigger than the narrow-minded people (and I'm talking about scientists as well as religious folks) around you? That's just heartbreaking.  Also it's really sad when little cute things die so watch out for that.

THE EAGLE -- (6)
I don't know what determines whether a film will be a success or a failure.  This movie has great costuming, attention to detail, interesting-looking actors, folks covered in blue clay, and even does us the favor of doing everything with actual people rather than computer-generated images.  And there are worse "action stars" working today than Channing Tatum. (Just the trailer from that Taylor Lautner thing gives me a rash.)  So, I'm not sure why this thing didn't make any big waves.  Perhaps no one actually cares about how Roman society actually functioned?  Maybe no one expects the moral ambiguity resulting from the interaction between occupied and occupying cultures in a sword fighting flick.  Or maybe nobody cares about a gold eagle on a stick.  Eh. I'm not even sure I care now that I'm thinkin' 'bout it....

PULP FICTION -- (6)
Natalie insisted I watch this when I was busy being outraged that she hadn't seen SERENITY yet.  Since PULP FICTION arguably has had a greater cultural impact, I was wrong and we watched it.  I had no idea Bruce Willis was in it.  I liked it a lot and was surprised that it A) was slow, B) made John Travolta look like a complete looser, and C) didn't immediately make a bundle in merchandising from sales of "Bad Mother F-er" wallets.  I know I want one.


And in other news, this guy

Matt Smith

 is not my favorite Doctor.  However this girl

Karen Gillan

is super cool so I think everything will be okay. =)

MARS NEEDS MOMS -- (6)

Motion capture animation is kind of weird. Unless you are WETA and/or Andy Serkis, it always looks creepy and odd.   In MARS NEEDS MOMS, the same POLAR EXPRESS techniques were used to make people and so the humans in this film have similar awkward, weightless, marionette-like moves.  The animation crew chose to make the characters look like the actors which is unfortunate because Seth Green is not very attractive and changing his face to look like a hairy 10-year-old doesn't help anyone.  But, the Martians look cool.  They look and move like cartoons, with enough animated "bounce" to make them natural. 
This film is based on a book by Berkley Breathed (of Bloom County fame) and the boy in the book is kinda Bill the Cat-looking.  Its a good book and a good story.  It's almost a good movie.  What I really wish is for filmmakers to stop trying to make people look and move like creepy puppet versions of themselves and to start making them just be cartoons.  It would be a lot more honest somehow.