GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY (9)

Things I Learned by Watching GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY:

1. There are a surprising number of white people running things in the Galaxy.

Most of them have questionable hair.

2. Everyone speaks English

Though some of them have a MUCH classier accent than you.

3. Idyllic societies still have broken prison systems.

Just like us!

4. Double "A" batteries are refreshingly universal and pretty easy to find galaxy-wide

"Gotta have my tunes, man."

5. There is an appalling amount of biological experimentation done.

Nebula here was made a cyborg after years of torture and experimentation.  She's psychotic but SUPER pretty so we know she's a total sucess!

6.  I can only assume this genetic experimentation is the reason all the men in the galaxy are thick

Tree-trunks for legs - LITERALLY

7. And all the women are thin.

I hope she has titanium bones because if she ever lands on a high-grav planet, she'll crumple like aluminum foil.

8. No matter how cool they look, guns never seem to fix the problem

Unless the problem is not looking cool.   Then this gun totally has you covered!

9. Everyone needs a Groot.

You would never need to decorate for a party again!

10.  Everyone always wants someone to pass them the ball.

"I have the ball!"

"Nope!  It's mine now!"

"INTERFERENCE!"

11.  And, lastly, the one great universal truth is this:

There is no purer expression of love in the galaxy than a mix tape.