Iron Man 2 was a surprise. I could not look away and was stunned every time I saw it on the screen. "Is it just me?", I would think. "Could I have imagined it?" And then it would happen. Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlet Johansen would walk across the screen and it would again become painfully obvious that I had NOT imagined it. There it was, captured on film and plain to see...
Neither of them can walk in high heels.
Really. I'm serious. It's bizarre. Every time the camera showed either of these two actresses moving you could see Ms Paltrow gingerly tip-toeing across the set in 4 inch Louboutins, or Ms Johansen pretend like she could maneuver in her Manolos. I wanted to stop the movie and ask them what they were doing. "What?!! What are you doing?" I would say. "Didn't you read Teen Prom Magazine? Or J-14? Anything? Because all of those fine publications spell out exactly how to walk in high heels! Really! They do! I promise!"
I am delighted that Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlet Johansen are paid millions of dollars to be filmed looking lovely and slender. They speak their lines well, emote, tell jokes, do action sequences, and kiss Robert Downey, Jr. I am just surprised that walking apparently isn't on the skills list. Especially when this overweight, out-of-shape, flat footed girl can do it. (And by that I mean me.) I admit I couldn't walk in heels until Samuel & Alison's wedding, when the ONLY shoes I could find to match my dress were 3 inch cream cha-cha heels. (Those shoes were in face so Divine, that when Jared Gold saw them he immediately asked me if I had set a trailer home on fire to get them.) So, I know it's a trick and it isn't necessarily easy. But I have total faith in their ability to learn.
So, what exactly are they doing wrong? Let's break it down.
Ms Paltro does what Delanie Tucker calls "The Giraffe." It's an odd combination of ankle and knee movements which allow the walker to move in heels without moving her hips at all. Since heels are specifically designed for the wearer's backside to stick up AND sway more, this is a really neat trick. An awkward, loping, mincing trick which might be damaging to the knees and ankles, but neat none the less.
Ms Johansen opts to go with the "Stomp It Out" technique. This is a classic, and is the favorite of 13 year old girls, frat boys, and the ladies on America's Next Top Model. To master the Stomp It Out one simply jams on some high heels and marches, splay footed, into the night. You'll show those Ferragamos who's boss! Take that!
So, what should they do? It's almost deceptively simple. When wearing high heeled shoes, one should place one foot in front of the other. Shorten the stride, let the body move naturally, and -- Voila! You are now walking smoothly. That's all there is to it.
Now someone just has to tell them.
Oh, yeah, and as for the rest of the film there were some explosions and jokes and the actors were really good and stuff. It's fun. See it.
Neither of them can walk in high heels.
Really. I'm serious. It's bizarre. Every time the camera showed either of these two actresses moving you could see Ms Paltrow gingerly tip-toeing across the set in 4 inch Louboutins, or Ms Johansen pretend like she could maneuver in her Manolos. I wanted to stop the movie and ask them what they were doing. "What?!! What are you doing?" I would say. "Didn't you read Teen Prom Magazine? Or J-14? Anything? Because all of those fine publications spell out exactly how to walk in high heels! Really! They do! I promise!"
I am delighted that Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlet Johansen are paid millions of dollars to be filmed looking lovely and slender. They speak their lines well, emote, tell jokes, do action sequences, and kiss Robert Downey, Jr. I am just surprised that walking apparently isn't on the skills list. Especially when this overweight, out-of-shape, flat footed girl can do it. (And by that I mean me.) I admit I couldn't walk in heels until Samuel & Alison's wedding, when the ONLY shoes I could find to match my dress were 3 inch cream cha-cha heels. (Those shoes were in face so Divine, that when Jared Gold saw them he immediately asked me if I had set a trailer home on fire to get them.) So, I know it's a trick and it isn't necessarily easy. But I have total faith in their ability to learn.
So, what exactly are they doing wrong? Let's break it down.
Ms Paltro does what Delanie Tucker calls "The Giraffe." It's an odd combination of ankle and knee movements which allow the walker to move in heels without moving her hips at all. Since heels are specifically designed for the wearer's backside to stick up AND sway more, this is a really neat trick. An awkward, loping, mincing trick which might be damaging to the knees and ankles, but neat none the less.
Ms Johansen opts to go with the "Stomp It Out" technique. This is a classic, and is the favorite of 13 year old girls, frat boys, and the ladies on America's Next Top Model. To master the Stomp It Out one simply jams on some high heels and marches, splay footed, into the night. You'll show those Ferragamos who's boss! Take that!
So, what should they do? It's almost deceptively simple. When wearing high heeled shoes, one should place one foot in front of the other. Shorten the stride, let the body move naturally, and -- Voila! You are now walking smoothly. That's all there is to it.
Now someone just has to tell them.
Oh, yeah, and as for the rest of the film there were some explosions and jokes and the actors were really good and stuff. It's fun. See it.
