Okay, let's just get it out there. I loved this movie. It had big explosions, a ton of CGI, Michael Bay for a producer and I loved it anyway. Do the turtles now have weird faces?
Yes. Because blending a human face with a turtle face isn't stomach-turning at all.
Did they paint Megan Fox in Michael-Bay-Thinks-Girls-Are-This-Color makeup?
OF COURSE they did! This scene is the only time in the movie April wears virulent pink lipstick. It's also the only time she faints. (Because women faint ALL THE TIME.)
Does Shredder have a RIDICULOUS number of swords sticking out of his arms?
Is Leonardo the leader just because he has a good jawline and a katana? (And because Splinter said so?)
Yup. Whatever Splinter says, man. Also Leo's breastplate seems to be made from rawhide dog chews. Mikey must have told him it looked totally radical.
Does this movie have a million ways to sell merchandise?
Aw yeah it does! And the pizza was DELICIOUS!
Does the movie have a theme song covered by an acapella group?
Absolutely. How is this even a question?
All of these things in no way deter my affection for the film. I know the critics hate TMNT and I don't care. I recognize the toysploitation machine is simply churning out movies for money and I don't care. Megan Fox is boring and I still don't care. TMNT is FUN. It's silly and amazing and has cool sound. Shredder is actually scary powerful, Splinter is sweetly awesome, and the first explosion didn't happen until we were an hour into the movie. (I actually checked my watch.)
As far as I am concerned, these four mutated dysmorphic reptiles are bulletproof -- both to the flying lead of Foot soldiers and to the opinions of everyone on Reddit. TMNT is everything a big fun summer movie should be.
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