TRANSFORMERS:AGE OF EXTINCTION (3)

It's Transformers 4 so we all know what's coming.  There will be lots of explosions, car chases, ever escalating numbers of guns, and a girl who has been sprayed orange for some reason.

Seriously, she's covered in weird colors.

This movie is made for the men who grew up playing with Transformer toys.  Their advanced age requires a story which is about protecting your daughter and justifying your bad parenting decisions.  So that's weird to watch but an understandable market decision.  It also gives Marky Mark lots of cool stuff to do.

For example, he stands around an abandoned gas station after threatening bodily violence on his daughter's boyfriend.
Good times.

One thing in the movie that was more exciting than the 16 lens flares (I actually counted) or the prolific number of trains sitting around everywhere, or the requisite shaky cam, or the explanation for why dinosaurs disappeared (alien attack), was Stanly Tucci.

He had the same dumb lines everyone else did but his turn as a bratty controlling brilliant billionare inventor was pretty fun.

Now I'm going to skip over the surprising number of times Texas was mentioned (9) or ALL the shots that had American flags in them.

Michael Bay being subtle.

and go right to the one thing in this movie that was too dumb to ignore.  Yes, we all know that it's a movie about giant robots and a massive suspension of disbelief is required.  But, and stay with me on this, if YOU were going to build complicated robot car soldiers for national defense, and you plan on defending America with these things... would you build those in China?

"Do I need to tell you why this is a bad idea?"

For some reason that was the one thing that got to me.  Yes, it's cheaper to make clothing and shoes and just about everything else in China.  But, when building super soldiers to fight wars with, perhaps domestic is the way you would want to go on that one...  Just sayin....

Anyway, I feel like you are now prepared for the worst of Transformers 4.   Go forth and enjoy the loud noises and dinosaurs and spectacle.  Also, remember to be thankful that you can't turn your entire face into a gun.

Seriously, that's got to hurt your neck.