CAPTAIN AMERICA:THE WINTER SOLDIER - (9)

So, I really liked this movie.  It is a world-changer and before you are thirty minutes into it everything begins to go sideways.    Because of this, I can't really talk about the story much or I will ruin the whole thing.   However, [SPOILER ALERT]

Scarlett Johansen never does this pose in the movie.

Weird, I know.

But, while I can't talk about the movie, I can talk about Captain America.   As it turns out, I actually kind of like Captain America.  He is NOT a post-modern hero.  He's actually just a crusty old grandpa with the body of Adonis.

"This guy is my only friend.  We met working out.  He totally lifts." - Cap'n

 What's so interesting about him is how he never speaks to anyone like they are an adult.  I'm not saying he is condescending or patronising.  But, if you, as an adult, are speaking to another adult, and that person says something, like ... "Hey!  Wanna see the mechanical monsters I'm installing in the bushes of my front yard so I can scare school children as they walk home in the afternoon?"   Your first response would likely be something like "... Wow....  Where did you come up with that idea?  How do you think that will pan out, legally?"

If you are speaking to an (alleged) adult, you would question, and perhaps recommend alternate behaviour, or maybe bring up possible litigation which would follow their decision, but you would never say "No.  You are terrorist and a horrible person," and then just stand there looking at them.

Captain America DOES speak this way.   Because of this odd habit, he reminds me of this

a preschool teacher.

Wait, that's sexist.

There.  That's better.

Captain America is like a preschool teacher because he will flat-out tell you that you are wrong, and will do so without hesitation or delay.   He says it because he believes you have a choice and can change.  Obviously you just don't know that you are doing terrible stuff so he will help you by telling you.  And, like a good preschool teacher, he never does the wrong thing.   Poor preschool teachers will sit on tables while telling kids not to sit on tables. Captain Amercia ALWAYS does what's right so if you are listening to him tell you you're awful, there's no wiggling out of it by telling him he's a hypocrite.

Captn:  "This is a monumentally bad idea."
Fury: "Oh, COME ON, MAN!  Can't you just for once say that something is COOL??"

The interesting thing is that we don't quite know how to photograph someone who simply states the truth and quietly does the right thing.   We know how to film someone fighting.

or, when they're DONE fighting, as the case may be.

or flying

"Whee!!"

and how to show people who are thinking

"Hmm... why didn't I put bronzer under my eyes, too?" - Black Widow

or confused

"There's ANOTHER bad guy??  Who's shooting at us now!?"

or even what it looks like to threaten someone

"Hold still, threatening is not my strong suit."

but quiet do-right moments are not quite normal.    Inevitably Cap gets photographed from below, with everyone in the room appearing to look up to him, and probably there is some subtle stirring music in the background to make it seem more inspirational.    However, it never seems quite right because he just tells everyone what the right choice is and then looks at them.   It's actually kind of awkward and I can see how he has no friends.

"Susan, that is an unkind thing to say.  However, it's honest, so I will allow it." - Cap

So, Captain America is an old unhappy lonely socially-awkward preschool teacher of a man who has only two friends, but, I like him.   It actually makes him interesting.