WALKING TALL -- by naudy (it gets a 3)

This movie is intended to appeal to The Rock's core audience... yer average WWE fan. It contains all the elements one would expect -- a small town crippled by the loss of a lumber mill, morally justified violence, big trucks, a hot stripper, and a kid to save. The only thing which dosn't quite fit the formula is the fact that The Rock has a delicious spray-on tan to make him look like the half Africian-American ex-military man he plays. So, other than the pleasant surprise of a story about a not-white good guy, it's exactly as bad as you would expect it to be. There is some cool fighting, and Johnny Knoxville manages to be amusing, but after that it's all illogical and silly. As much as I love The Rock, he's an awfully self-aware actor. He walks around visibly thinking "I Am Not The Rock" to himself and the viewer can see it. Were I to bother to go back and review this movie, I'm fairly certain that there are moments when he looks directly at the camera and just barely stops himself from doing the eyebrow thing.

I know you're not surprised.

THE CHORUS -- by naudy (it gets an 8)

It's good. Made me cry in bits though probably not in the bits everyone else cries in. I wish I could handle punk kids half as well as this composer/teacher. But, I also wish I could write 6 part music for choir boys based on a poem by Rameau. And I wish I were a soprano like the "star" singer in this film. I also wonder what it's like to be a star singer until puberty hits and one's voice is gone. Sort of like high school football stars except one's peak is at eleven instead of eighteen.

But I digress. This movie is in French so if you don't like to read I wouldn't recommend it. Also, if you have a problem with "prison movies" skip it. Other folks who wouldn't like it are folks who hate choral music, people with an aversion to the color grey, and anyone who has a strong phobia of preadolescent boys.

50 FIRST DATES -- by naudy (cuteness earns a 5!)

My nieces (aged 13, 9, and 7) insisted I watch this movie with them. (They also insisted that I watch HITCH with them, too, but I managed to weasel out of that one as it was a school night.) I was reluctant to sit down and view this film but every time I "accidentally" got up and wandered into another room, the kids would pause the DVD and yell at me until I came back and sat down.

So, what exactly makes a movie beloved by my tween-aged nieces? Well, I'm not exactly sure. I do know why I enjoyed it. Like any Adam Sandler film, it's mostly about the ensemble. Sean Astin as the mesh-shirt-wearing lisping steriod-muffin brother of Drew Barrymore's character was reason enough for me to see it. Face it, there isn't anything better than seeing Samwise come into a room, hang himself by his knees from the chandelier to do sit-ups only to have the entire chandelier fall from the ceiling a second later. The other reason to see this film is Rob Schneider. When I first saw him cast as a half-blind Hawaiian named Ula, I felt guilty. I mean, Rob Schneider's white... right? The thing is, he sort of looks Hawaiian/Caucasian/Asian and since his character is someone no one wants to be, it ends up being okay.

As for the story, well, it's Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore being cute. Since they both are at about the same acting level, it works out fine. There are also cute penguins, a cool walrus, some really great actual Hawaiians, pretty views, pineapples, Dan Akyroyd as a physician, amateur art, head injuries, and a happy ending. Which is enough for my nieces and was more than enough for me.